So many surprises...

All righty... talk about being off to a slow start.
I intended for this blog to be about our alternative lifestyle, but we have had a hard time getting started and established in this lifestyle.

The investment property, or the fourplex as we tend to refer to it, is still behind on some of those debts. We're catching up, slowly,  but we still owe a decent amount.

We still live in the RV that was lent to us. This leaves us in a very unideal situation come winter.
Finances have been rocky.
And the year of 2015 was... strange.

We had plans to start building on our land, but things went awry.
Part of the trouble was our poor execution of plans and being indecisive and disorganized.
Another part was an unplanned pregnancy...

Despite prevention, we found out we were expecting shortly after our daughter turned one. We had mixed feelings about this. We weren't ready for another... but we decided that we were lucky to be able to conceive so easily, and we felt we could make due with another. We wanted to have 2 of our own someday, anyway.
But as time went on I noticed I was getting large quickly... I finally went in to my midwives at 20wks, and they informed me that there was more than one baby.
I had been nervous about one... now there was two? But I reasoned that I had two hands, two bodily sources of nutrition for babies, I could wear two at a time now that I was more experienced at babywearing... I would make it work. Twins were doable.

My midwife set up an ultrasound at the hospital for me to make sure everything was okay, about a week later. At this appointment, different experience levels of ultrasound techs did different things. The tech doing the ultrasound confirmed the presence of twins... and then hesitated at something. Another person who had apparently been observing the pictures in the other room came in and asked if she could take over, and the first tech consented. I was left wondering what was going on.
That was when I was told that there was a third baby.
Eventually they even called the department head in just so he could join in on the fun. I guess he's worked at our smallish hospital for 10yrs without having ever seen triplets.
I was now a curiosity, entertainment.
And I was almost certainly risked out of a midwife birth... I didn't really know what might happen now.

I was in shock.

I had two hands, two breasts, not three. There isn't enough surface area on my body to easily wear three babies. My extreme attachment parenting style was going to be pushed beyond its limits. Triplets also tend to come very early and need extensive hospital care, disrupting initial bonding time and making further challenges for all of us. My poor daughter would likely have to be pushed to grow more independent very quickly... I hadn't wanted to even have one more child until she was closer to 3 and naturally more self-assured. Now this? These babies would arrive before she was even 2. And would I be able to provide the same deep love and care I gave to a single baby to all 3? And there's not enough room in the RV, and there's so much I needed and wanted to do.
And, we needed a bigger vehicle.

That's all I'm gonna say for now, since it's late...
But suffice it to say, I had very mixed feelings about this. Unfortunately, most of them weren't joyous.

But, I am determined as ever to do the best that I can do.